When I was younger I was not accustomed to people believing in me or worse, believing in myself! As I boarded the plane to Guayaquil knowing that my calling had been revealed to serve as a missionary in Ecuador my excitement shifted. My excitement shifted to worry about how it was going to be done. I realized I was fearful of high expectations. I began to remember the many times I started something and didn’t finish it.
However, the difference between the things I attempted to finish on my own and God’s calling are immense. God never makes a promise and fails to come through.
“Denise, remember that time you thought you would have no place to live? Denise, remember that time you were scared? Denise, remember that time you were lonely? Denise, remember that time you were broke? Denise, remember when you thought no one loved you? Denise, remember when you didn’t think you were good enough, smart enough, strong enough, brave enough?”
“Ok, OK, Lord, I Get IT!”
It’s often easy to forget about the miracles. Moses and his people saw the Lord part the Red Sea and they still rebelled with God while on their way to the promise land!
Numbers 11:1 Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the Lord, and when he heard them his anger was aroused. Then fire from the Lord burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp. (NIV)
Numbers 11:11 And Moses said to the Lord, “Why are you treating me, your servant, so harshly? Have mercy on me! What did I do to deserve the burden of all these people? 12 Did I give birth to them? Did I bring them into the world? Why did you tell me to carry them in my arms like a mother carries a nursing baby? How can I carry them to the land you swore to give their ancestors? (NLT)
The people complained though they were no longer enslaved. Moses complained even though God chose him to lead his people. It is easy to criticize and believe they were foolish for believing God would not fulfill His promise after parting the Red Sea.
But who am I to criticize a people who have the same doubt, hurts, and emotions as me. How many times has the Lord made way when there was no way? And how many times has the Lord defeated my enemies, and I still doubted He would do it again? It’s natural to my flesh. If you are honest: your flesh too.
So how do we deal with doubt? Remember that the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy.
John 10:10 “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”
The enemy comes to steal our salvation, kill our souls, and destroy our purpose. He often does this through our thoughts. In confronting our doubt, we must admit that we are doubting. That can take a blow at our spirit, because doubting means we are lacking faith. But remembering that the Lord gave us so many resources to stay in community with Him gives us more of a reason to praise him! Remember: his purpose is to give us a rich and satisfying life!
Ask God for an increase of faith! The father of the boy with an evil spirit said it best in Mark 9:24 The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”
We know the problem. It’s not God; it’s our lack of faith, our lack of patience, our lack of understanding, our self-pity, our pride, and the list goes on. What’s amazing is God will provide us with what we need. God wants to increase our faith. The beauty is He desires to do so. He said if we ask we shall receive, and if we ask it should be for the right motives.
Repentance, praying, fasting, fellowship with believers who are after God’s heart, the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Bible equips the believer to defeat his or her doubt, his or her sin. We are overcomers through Christ who gives us strength.
Without a doubt God has given me affirmation to the calling he has put on my life. He continues to show me favor and making way. I could have been married, and I could have been applying to Grad school, I had this stage of my life planned out. I consider myself blessed knowing that The Lord’s plan is much greater than mine.
Proverbs 16:9 In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.
Joy comes when we walk in His purpose. He has given me the confidence to walk in it and believe in the mighty task He is preparing me for. I don’t know every detail, but I do know that trusting in Him has never let me down. So when that voice who comes to kill, steal, and destroy tries to reside in my mind, I rebuke it in Jesus name and pray.
Prayer: Lord thank you, thank you, thank you for considering me a jewel in your eyes. Thank you for the hardships because I truly could not have the destiny I am headed towards if I did not suffer. Thank you for the joy you have given me and the desire to serve you. Please don’t let that desire die out. I need you! Lord you have been my family, my friend, my salvation, and all I think about is my walk with you. Lord, I admit I have moments of insecurities where I secretly question your purpose for me. Forgive me Lord, increase my faith, and humble my heart! Teach me to be the light, show me which direction I should go, strengthen me in the areas that I am weak, and Lord, never let my heart stray from YOU! Let my desire to serve you increase and not decrease. Today, I surrender to your will, no matter how far I need to go or what I need to do. I praise you because you know best, because you are God and because I love you. In Jesus name, Amen.